I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
