I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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