I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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