do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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