I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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