Me. At least after what I've been through.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just want to make out with him forever
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
