Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
