just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
