My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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