i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize