just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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