Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
