my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
