Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
