Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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