On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
