tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
