with your own penis?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
