i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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