did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
