Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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