mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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