Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
