i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
