IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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