Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
