There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
