yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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