Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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