Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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