where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize