If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
apparently the secret to your success is patron
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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