Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
