so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize