I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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