My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
