Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she told me i tasted like america
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
