I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
