Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
