we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The air taste purple.
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