I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
