told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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