careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
