I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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