Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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