I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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