Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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