"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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