Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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