Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
