so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
