No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
