she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
