I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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